Rebecca Lenfestey January Blogpost
Invasive curiosity is defined as prying or intrusive questioning which can make someone feel uncomfortable. Upon reading this question and going back to discussions in workshops I had wondered if I have fallen into this category in a couple of situations. After much thought I came to the conclusion that I have asked questions to better understand others and situations and felt I asked in respectful ways while being mindful of the comfort level within the situations. During my time in education I have found the importance in creating and maintaining student relationships which includes asking and learning more about my students. It seemed like the right thing to do. In working with my former international students I have learned many things which I feel make me a better educator and person because I was trying to educate myself about each of them.
In reading “Where are you from” it prompted me to have a discussion with my current fourth grade students asking “where they were born”, and “how long have you lived in the town our school is located in?” I have a student who shared that she was born in Haiti. The questions started flowing from my students asking her where it was located, what was it like? She started answering but I had them pause to ask her if it was okay to learn more from her. She was happy to share her information in a controlled setting and the class including myself learned things I didn’t know. I appreciated the different perspectives in our workshop discussions about assumptions people make that because they speak a different language, or because they look different it doesn’t mean they are not American. The question about being an American and then talking about the phrase “you are from away” hit me in a deep way. I grew up in a small town in Northern Maine and felt that was home and never really thought about leaving that place. I was in an abusive relationship for many years and I struggled and suffered and I knew I needed to change the situation. I applied for a teaching position in a one-room schoolhouse on a Maine Island. I needed change for a better me and found it on this island. In my first few years of teaching I learned quick about how involved small communities are in their schools, they do NOT like change, and to some of them I was from away. I met someone, married, and started a family and still worked in various positions to keep this small remote fishing village running smoothly and it became “my home”. When I went into labor with my first child, I was on the island and had no idea what to do. We called a relative, and despite the rough seas and thick fog banks they were willing to take me by boat to the mainland so I could deliver my child in a hospital. Contractions started up again with intensity and I thought for sure I was going to deliver my first born on the deck of the lobster boat Lorena Faye with my husband, brother-in-law, and my brother-in-law’s father. All went well in the venture but despite my son almost being born on a boat leaving the island he is still not considered an Islander because his parents came from away. I never figured out why it mattered then, or even why I brought it up in this reflection other than it hurt. I worked, interacted with others, attended the church and I feel like I made that place my home just to be called a “person from away.” This was just a very small island and when I put that in perspective we should be able to consider “home” where we lay to rest each night.
In our reading about “ALMA” I made a connection with that book because I had always done a lesson with my students about our name, where did it come from or why was it chosen for us, etc. When reflecting each time I had always felt a little guilty that I named my oldest son after his father, and grandfather, my youngest was named after my grandfather, and my middle son’s name is one not shared with anyone in the family but I fell in love with the two names together. This story is dear to me in justifying that we do name our children after a family member, we name our children for other reasons but it warmed my heart to read “I picked the name ALMA just for you. You are the first and the only Alma. You will make your own story.” So instead it wasn’t neglect for carrying on a name it was a blessing to create who the name belongs to. While I type this it comes to mind of how and why people change their names and that would make a great story as well.
I also read and shared The Suitcase with my students. They were engaged and followed along with concerns of who or what the strange character was. I also did a brief writing/drawing activity with the kids to think about having to make a quick decision and pack a few things that might fit in their suitcase. I learned from our discussion that this might be in reference to people or families needing to leave a place/home and going somewhere else. We talked about what feelings we have with meeting new people in either small or large groups. We talked about making decisions and reflected on some examples. My kids didn’t really have a deep connection to this story so I would like to come back and talk more with them about the unknown animal, why was it coming by looking “dusty, tired,sad, and frightened”.
Our discussions are extremely helpful as I am fearful of doing or saying something that may offend others and it’s important to work with youth on how to navigate these topics with sensitivity, kindness, and compassion.
