Implicit Bias is not a new term to me. I have to admit, though, that my perception of myself was challenged after I did a few of the studies and was very honest with the computer and my selections. As I clicked the buttons as fast as possible, I was annoyed that they kept switching what the keys corresponded to. The scientific side of my brain knew that this would keep me from filtering my responses to match my intentions, which is to live a life without bias and treat all human beings with the same level of respectful honor and dignity.
When the results page first popped up, I have to be honest-I was angry. With myself, or with the system…it had to be wrong, because as a severe anorexia survivor and the mother of a child who has struggled with the heartache and life battle of severe obesity, I could not have a “slight automatic preference for thin people”. In a group or crowd, I do not feel drawn to meet or converse with certain people based on their size-I am drawn to their energy and presence, their personality, and the words that they choose to use.
In an attempt to prove to myself that I am not subconsciously associating certain groups of people or characteristics about people into good or bad categories, I determinedly took three more surveys. After each one, I was frustrated with myself. How could I carry such (even though slight) biases inside my deepest reactions? How could I, someone who has struggled with my own racial identity, self-esteem, sense of belonging, and more, have a slight bias based on skin tone? It reminds me of something that our group discussed in last week’s time together-how it’s easy to think we know someone based on one thing that we think that we know from a response, or how they speak. I was thinking of the value for me in going further with this thought-to realize that I would be wise to periodically reflect on how well I know myself and the ways that I react to those around me.
As part of this assignment, we were asked to reflect upon implicit bias in our lives and how it might have helped us to navigate a situation. I feel that being aware of this is helping me to navigate, facilitate, and support the hard conversations and burgeoning awareness springing forth in my classroom with my students. Using my improved understanding of how implicit bias is just that, implicit-an attitude or set of beliefs that one is unaware of-helps me to help students prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings that could begin to occur when digging into difficult topics and ideas.
What a challenging but worthwhile exploration!
-Saralynn
